Probably. But here we go . . .
My favorite way to approach anything is to dive right in. I do loads of research (which is phase 1 of my diving in), but if I’ve made up my mind you’re going to know me, I like to save us both a lot of time and energy by getting who I am right on out there. I’m not for everyone, of course, but this way we know right from the start if I’m for you or not. Then we don’t have to waste precious time building connections only to find out some time in the near future that I surprised you in some horrible way you cannot tolerate.
So let’s begin.
Things to know about me from the start:
I’m kind of nuts. I struggle with ANXIETY and depression and I’m a recovering approval addict. I’ve also been diagnosed with a bit of ADD. I believe in the blessing of a good therapist and I believe some of us need meds, which is more than okay. To quote Glennon Doyle, “Jesus us loves me, this I know, ‘cause he gave me Lexapro.”
I am not a model wife, mother, or homemaker. I meant to be, but I kept getting in my own way. My house is messier than I want to pretend it is. I’m often distracted and forget that people in this house need to eat. I suck at planning and routines and mostly, details. Tedium nearly drives me mad. I beat myself up for years about this (who am I kidding? I still do) but I’m trying to recognize who I am and to be okay with that person. She’s hilarious sometimes, but no one would ever rave about her “attention to detail.” What does that even mean?
I am SUCH an Enneagram Type 5. It’s called The Investigator. If you stick around here a while, we’ll talk a lot about the Enneagram. (If you want to jump ahead of the class — a sure sign you might be a 3 — or a 5 — you can read about the 9 Types here). The Enneagram is a fascinating tool for gathering more insight about yourself. The good and also terrible part is that it gives you insight into who you are when you’re awesome, but it also shows you how you show up when you’re at your worst, which is not nearly as fun. For example, at our best Fives are alert, insightful, and curious. We love learning and researching and are also able to focus on the big picture. We are highly innovative and perceptive and we want to know WHY things are the way they are and how the world works — and we’re willing to find out and then share that with you! At our worst, we become isolated, high-strung, and intense. We fall prey to phobias and withdraw and become argumentative and then it gets uglier from there. Lovely.
Because I am so focused on the BIG picture, I tend to see many sides to any issue. That means, for me, very little is black and white. I see the world almost completely in shades of gray. As such, you’ll find no hard lines here except for two: we do not judge each other and we are not irresponsible with other people’s vulnerability.
If you’re not running for the hills yet, I’ll share that my most basic beliefs are these:
If we can give people more help than they deserve (because if any of us got only what we deserve, we wouldn’t like it), we should do that.
If we can love people without the condition that they behave, think, act, dress, talk, exactly like we do, we should do that.
If we can embrace the truth that we are ALL different and that EVERYone was made in the image of God and is therefore just as worthy as we are, we should do that.
If we can view every child the way we view our own, we should do that.
If we can accept that it is not our job to judge other people but it is our responsibility to love them, whether we understand them or not, we should do that.
If we can shine a light for someone whose batteries are burned out, we should do that.
If we can apply any of these things to our own wobbly selves, we should definitely do that.
If we can show up, with all of our mess, and feel like we have no expertise and nothing really to give, we should still do that. Because it is in our mess that real connection happens. It’s in our mess that other people feel seen and heard. And what is the point of stumbling around on this crazy planet together if we can’t swing that?
xo,
Beth
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Love this and you always! <3